Mixed Messages - Mind your business!

My Mixed Messages project is pretty simple: it creates a random insult urging the user to mind their own business (like the Marauder’s Map did to Snape in Harry Potter). This didn’t take me too long but I am wondering if there is a better way to implement/nest my functions. Any suggestions would be appreciated!

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Noun. mixed message (plural mixed messages) (idiomatic) Any communication that is contradictory, inconsistent, or unclear, especially in its motive or intent .