A quick pick-me-up for anyone that needs it:
I failed all my IT courses my freshman year of college - almost 10 years ago now. I was unmotivated, I had no passion for it, and I was constantly battling the idea of “what is my purpose in uni/what am I doing here”. I would not be able to fathom where I would eventually end up.
Learning takes time. It doesn’t have to be in college. It is OK to put something down and pick it back up again. As long as you give yourself flexibility and patience to learn something then you will eventually get there*. (*to the level you are aiming for)
I ended up putting down the structured IT learning and switched to international studies. I spent the next 5 years solely focused on learning Japanese, going back and forth between my hometown and Japan, and ended up teaching English for a year in Japan post-college.
Throughout that time, I focused on what I enjoyed doing: I made videos, I learned a new language, I made a lot of friends, and I finished college by taking courses I was actually interested in.
I boosted my confidence by switching to a topic I wanted to learn. It was a reminder that I am capable of learning - which is funny to write out, but pre-college I was the kid that hardly studied and barely hovered at an above-average grade level (which was perfectly OK with me). And if you are wondering - yes, I was insecure about failing those courses!
But, I eventually picked up IT again. I never hated it, I just wasn’t ready for it. I started out small by taking a consulting job that brushed shoulders with programming. It allowed me to dabble in programming without the added pressure to be an expert immediately. I switched jobs again after a few years and designed some automation workflows in Python within my team. It wasn’t even a job requirement - it was simply such a huge need to have additional efficiency that I took it upon myself to do it. Now, I am happy to say I am tech support engineer and this is just the beginning - hence the reason why I am on codecademy!
The point is, wherever you are right now is NOT the end of your journey. At times it is so challenging to continue learning because life isn’t as linear as we would like it to be. But, from one internet stranger to another, I can assure you that if this something you want then you will pick it up again so stay strong!